Man, movies are fantastic, aren't they? Not only does the guy almost always get the girl, but the guy is the most amazing, thoughtful, gentle person that girl has ever met. Oh, and he knows all the right things to say and all the right things to do as well. The nice guys are Super Nice Guys and the assholes are Super Assholes usually. It's an exaggeration in all directions.
Let's look into this further, shall we? As a young girl I remember when I watched movies and how mesmerized I was by the stories that unfolded on the screen. One of my favorites was Cinderella. If you aren't familiar with the story I will give you the short version. Basically, it is about a poor young girl who lives with her evil step mother and sisters. She is forced to do all the horrible chores around the house because her step sisters and mother are jealous with how fair of a maiden she is. So they knock down her self esteem a couple notches by making her the mule. When the king puts on a ball in honor of his son to find a suitable wife invitations are sent to every household in the kingdom. Of course, Cinderella was forbidden to go. Poor Cinderella. Have no fear though, a fairy godmother comes to her rescue and bibbidy boppity boos a new dress, a fancy new carriage, and some lovely glass shoes that will come in handy later on. I could have used a fairy godmother a couple of times. So much for a tear drop away, eh? She makes it to the ball just in the nick of time and scores a dance with her handsome price. Not only that, but she isn't even recognized by her step mother and sisters...go fairy god mother. Apparently, a new dress and an updo will turn you into a brand new person.
After she dances her heart out the clock strikes twelve and she must make her way back to her shabby little residence before the prince sees her in her unbecoming garb. As she runs out on her prince, she loses a shoe on the steps and that is all the prince has to find her again. Not only does he find her, but he goes through every house in the kingdom and has each eligible maiden try on the shoe. Fortunately, no one else has Cinderella's shoe size. She must have been like a 6 and 3/4 or something. Anyway, she found her prince and he whisked her away to spend the rest of her live in a lovely castle. Not only that, but there was not a word uttered about the fact that she was a peasant and not of high birth. Yeah, it isn't all about money but usually a prince marries a princes and she wasn't a princess. I guess that just shows you that love turns a blind eye to things like that. So.. that's what all men do, right? Not only would they search for that one girl house by house, but he only has eyes for that one girl. No one else that he came across happened to interest him. None. Even when every single girl was throwing themselves at him in order to have a shot to be with a prince. Yeah, seems legit.
This doesn't just happen with Disney movies though. For example, The Notebook. I think it is fair to say that the majority of the girl population has seen this movie. I'm going to show you one instance of the ridiculousness that this movie presents to our distorted image of what a guy should do for his girlfriend.
I'll give you a minute to soak that in. Seriously? By the way, I am mostly pointing out that this was in response to one single text. It isn't like he didn't answer all your other messages. "He didn't respond to one of my texts, it must mean he doesn't care that much." Ugh. Now lets look the 365 letters that were written. A letter every day for a year. Not even I would do that. I couldn't even do that when Captain Douchebag was in boot camp. I pretty much just wrote when I got a letter. This just screams desperation to me and that is a big turn off...that, and the odds of a guy doing that and not being a creeper? 1 in uh like a billion or something. I don't know. I don't do math.
Keeping with the Christmas season there is another favorite movie of mine, The Holiday. A movie where two broken hearted girls decide that they want to get away from their current lives for the Christmas holiday and have some time to themselves. The girls, Amanda and Iris, swap places and stay in each others houses over the holiday. Amanda ventures to London and Iris hops over to LA. When Amanda arrives she just happens to come upon Iris's brother Graham. Not only is he ridiculously handsome and has a British accent, but they sleep together after knowing each other only hours and he wants to call her the next day. What?! I know. Unreal. Graham is exceedingly charming and only grows on Amanda as he continues to want to spend time with her. Yeah, he wants to spend time with her and get to know her. It gets better....He is a sweet, charming gentlemen and only sets standards for normal guys incredibly high.
While Iris is in LA trying to nurse her wounds she also meets a charming young fellow, Miles. He is the perfect mix of cute, funny and sweet to make you want to puke. Although he doesn't have an accent he still was able to push up those standards even more. He gave her the best compliments, he told clever jokes, and gave her heart that perfect pick me up she needed. Excuse me while I get a drink to get the taste of vomit out of my mouth....
Ok, ok, I am only exaggerating. Well, about the vomiting part. I am a hopeless romantic and I soak up every minute that comes across the screen in movies like this. I LOVE this shit. That's exactly what it is though, shit. I don't mean to rain on anyone's parade at all, but I guess I have come to terms with my unrealistic expectations of love that I have. Sure, there are guys out there that are sweet, charming, thoughtful, handsome and have a British accent....but they don't have those qualities all the time. No one can really. I mean, I am not always the bubbly, cheery, peppy girl you have all come to know and love. I admit it. I can be a bitch sometimes. Only sometimes though....
Anyway, to my point of all of this rambling. Movies create lovely thoughts and idealistic standards that we can look for in our dating escapades and even into marriage, but the fact is is that girls hold guys accountable to these ideals. I am guilty of this too... A person can only do so much and even I have gotten tired of too much mushy. Sure, it looks all peachy on the big screen, but that relationship realistically lasted only an hour and a half. Two and a half at the most. They also don't get into all the grit that comes along with a relationship either that makes it impossible sometimes to maintain a lovey dovey atmosphere in the relationship.
Movies aren't the only culprit in this though. Books are just as guilty, but that is for another post possibly. Trust me, you don't want to get me started on how horrible Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey are for a relationship.....Dear god. I guess what I am saying is don't get wrapped up into Hollywood and the way that they try to portray love and relationships. Not only will you set yourself up for disappointment, but you're only setting yourself up for failure. Kind of like the bad boy thing. Just realize that not every guy can be a Noah, Graham or Prince Charming, but they can try to be something close to it. So recognize their effort and appreciate the version of Prince Charming that you are sharing a love story with, not who you aren't.
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