Oh, those bad boys.

I think I must be trying to channel my inner Carrie Bradshaw with this blog now, but I don't think it will be nearly as entertaining or successful as hers by any means. I saw a post from someone on an Ecard and it made me think if there was any truth behind what was written.

It really made me think. I had to think pretty hard since that was a long time to remember back to and my memory is shitty as it is. In the days of recess, show and tell, and cooties is when this phrase first was presented to a young, innocent girl. I can recall being told this exact thing by multiple people. That was how you showed you cared because it wasn't cool to pick a flower for a girl or write a boy a note back then. Heaven forbid you let any of your friends know that you liked one of those cootie infested boys running around on the playground. This was the perfect starting point for all those bad boys to start to grow into their bad habits. A little 'love tap' here and there, a pull of a pony tail, a few harsh words that were really sprinkled with love started the attraction of the girl to the dreaded 'Bad Boy'.
    How could we not be attracted when we were told that his mistreating was really a sign of affection? I mean, the shy boy who never says anything to his crush gets over shadowed by the kid that throws dirt in her face. Romantic, eh? To look back on it, we were doomed from the start. As we aged the bad boys only got worse. Once cooties were out of the picture it was a lot easier for us to latch on to them even with our friends watching. The silent, brooding type that sat in the back of the classroom and only talked to a select few were the top choice for many a high school girls. Or you had the boy in a band. Not band, but in a band. Nothing said rebellion to your parents like dating a guy in a hard rock band. Ok, not really. I didn't really know any of those kind of guys. There were the guys into pot, the ones that drank on the weekends and went to the 'cool' parties, and the dark, mysterious boys that you never really knew what they did.
    All those nights spent crying over that guy that never returns your call, disses you in front of his friends, or lies about where he's going or been all came from the playground. I mean, it can only mean that he really likes you when he does this to you, right? That's what they said. Well, at least until you get older. Then it turns into "You deserve better than this, you need a guy that will treat you how you should be treated."

  WTF? Really? When did the tables turn? I thought that it meant they liked you when they treated you like shit? No? Damn. As we age, the bad boy becomes even more intriguing. They meant adventure, excitement, and unforgettable nights. Or so you thought. Usually, they just meant that you ended up without a date Friday night because he was actually out with someone else instead. The same lines that lured you in worked on another unsuspecting girl that was hypnotized by the bad boy allure. It was hard to resist sometimes. There was that twinkle in their eye, a slight little smirk or just the way they dressed that pulled you in like a bee to honey. They disguised their stingers rather well.
      However, I will give the bad boys some credit for something. Through all their manipulation, lies and deceit they really do bring a true appreciation for the nice guys. I think I can safely speak for the majority of the female population when I say that the bad boys are merely a phase. When we are younger we want to have fun with the bad boys and get all the partying out of our system, but when it comes to settling down....
     A bad boy just won't do. Unless, it's a reformed bad boy who realized his horrible ways and was looking to redeem themselves from their previous behavior. You see, when a girl looks to the long term they don't want adventure and excitement, they want stability, security and someone responsible. This can only come from those nice guys that were over looked. Unfortunately, many of those nice guys have turned bitter from being disregarded previously for their adversary. I will take this moment to apologize profusely for our ridiculous behavior. Seriously. I'm sorry, nice guys.
    Anyway, it is true that nice guys do finish last, but that doesn't have to mean it's a bad thing. I guess to put a positive spin on it, wouldn't you rather be appreciated once they finally get priorities in order, than to be tossed away because they really don't understand the true appeal of the nice guy? In my dating adventures the last couple of years, I found I couldn't get away from the bad boy no matter how hard I tried. When you no longer want them it seems like they are in an endless supply. The attractiveness of what the nice guy could offer was all I could see and all I really wanted, but like I mentioned above once bitten twice shy they say....The hiding spots seem to be endless for the nice guys. That, or there were other girls who learned their lesson long before I did and took one out of the population. I'm throwing an apology out there again on behalf of the stupid girls out there (myself included) who took a little while to see the true value that you guys hold. I really hope that the bitterness doesn't get to your core and harden you too much. You lucky gentlemen are the ones that they choose to start a life and family with, share lifetime adventures with, and the ones they grow old with. If you ask me, I think you guys are the true winners. Yes, it may take a little bit of time for us to realize that we were all wrong, but in our defense it was ingrained into us from the beginning. So please, don't hold that against us. Or rather, against those who don't know what gems you gentlemen truly are.

Taking a different path...

I didn't realize how long it had been since I posted on here. For a while, I couldn't remember who it was that was next. I lost my list that I had made to keep track of who I wanted to post about. After that, I was just lazy and didn't really want to get on here and write. Although, I am sure many of you have been hanging on by the edge of your seats.... *Crickets chirp* Yeah, that's pretty much what I thought. 
   I decided that I am just going to use this as kind of a journal thing about my current, or rather most recent, adventures and whatever else is on my mind. I know I have a journal that I could write in, but since I am lazy and don't really want to do that. So, I'm not going to. In the last few months, I have had to deal with quite a few speed bumps along the way in my quest of romance. Actually, it was more like turbulence rather than a speed bump. It messed me up pretty bad. I suppose I should give a background on this guy since he was in my history as well as my present. Oh, and a name. He needs a name. This is the story of Cool Rider.
    It began one fateful night a few years back in a smokey, dingy bar. He caught my eye as he stood there standing with his back against the wall, sipping a beer and talking with his friends. Even though I had downed a couple of beers myself I still hadn't quite gotten together with my confident side yet that night. So, what was a girl to do? Simply send over a guy friend of hers to do the dirty work for her, that's what. After a little bit of small talk, or small yelling rather, numbers were exchanged and the night went on. Over the next few days we began talking and even hung out a few times. Granted, the hang outs mostly ended up in just some sweaty romps and a little bit of conversation. Unfortunately, after the first romp my feelings began doing their dirty work and weaving webs between us. Well, on my end it seemed anyway. The "hang outs" got less frequent as well as the conversations. I pretty much knew where this was headed and I wasn't really looking to my usual room in the Heartbreak Hotel.
    I can't even explain how my feelings ended up where they were with him in the short amount of time we spent together. I keep telling myself it was his eyes. Something about what I saw in those eyes did me in every time. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, and in those brown eyes of his I found something hidden, something guarded, something beautiful. Every so often he would give me a glimpse into what he was hiding and it only made me want to discover it even more. As hard as i tried to get past those walls, eventually I was escorted off the grounds and left with no choice but to go back to my hotel. 
      He became like my Unicorn in a way. Our paths crossed again a couple of times, but he never stuck around long. To my surprise, and because of some Facebook stalking on my part, I found that he had gotten married. Married. WTF? Yeah, I was blindsided myself. At that point, I pretty much figured that I should probably not hang on to these feelings I had anymore. Figures that this is how it would end, right? If you could call it playing in my favor, things fell apart for them and what do you know, I sent him a friend request on Facebook. Hah. Yeah, I know. Don't judge me. Conversation began again and the chemistry started back up where it left off. Just as things were going along great, a road block hits and derails the entire thing.
      For the record, I will cut him some slack on this since he just recently separated from his wife and then basically got together with me. He was left to start over from scratch while his ex moved in with her new fiance and was doing just fine. It would be an emotionally taxing time for anyone in that position. What I won't give him slack for is his way for dealing with his problems. Rather than confronting them, working on them, or talking about them, he pushes away and closes himself off completely. I'm known for walking away pretty quickly when a romance just isn't going my way, but I actually gave this the old college try. All I knew was that something always made me come back to him. I wanted to be there for him, be his rock and stand by his side through whatever it was he was going through, but I got 86'd again. 
   I am a patient person. I really am. Well, when I want to be. There is only so much that I can be pushed away before I take then hint and walk away myself. Which is exactly what I did. It was the hardest thing for me to do, but I knew it was something I had to do. I was ready to give him my everything, but I wasn't going to do it for nothing in return. After some time apart, yet again, he came around. Now, if there are actually people reading this I am sure that they are having the same reaction as some of my friends. Another shot? Really? Yeah, really. Time will tell if it was a mistake or not, but it seems that this time he may have realized what he had after he lost it. 
    I don't understand why it has to work that way. The most amazing, wonderful person that you could ever know could be right in front of you, but because you have grown accustomed to it and are around it every day the shine diminishes and you over look it. All it needs is a little dusting off now and again and the radiance would come through and sparkle like always. What I have come to find is that people don't want to put in an effort anymore. After all that mining that you did to get the gem, what else would you need to do now that you have it? Well, you would need to clean it up, cut it, place it in a setting that fit just right, and polish it regularly. I said regularly, not occasionally or once. 
    In the instance I talked about with Cool Rider, communication hindered the polishing with both of us. He was so concerned with cleaning himself up and dusting himself off that he didn't see me holding a rag waiting to help him. There are many things we can do on our own, but sometimes you need a little help. I have learned this lesson from my mother most of all. It is important to show that you can handle things and take care of yourself, but asking for help doesn't make you incapable of all that. Your journey will be a lot shorter by stopping for help along the way rather than trying to make it completely on your own. So in whatever journey you may be on, don't be afraid to ask for help. You never know what you might discover about you or someone else.