Now that my relationship with the Captain is over, I am faced with the horrible task of moving on. The impact that he made on me was substantial and I constantly lost ground on the mountain I was trying to climb. In my one of many attempts to find someone to soothe my ailing heart, I turned to my favorite dating center. The internet. The more that I post that is how I met the majority of the people I have dated, the more ridiculous I feel. This next guy was probably the shortest run of a relationship I have ever had. At least that I can recall. The first red flag that I should have paid attention to was the fact that he was from Nampa. If any of you have been in that area you know what I am talking about.
So, I started talking to Adolf on the computer. He was more of my type than the last few have been. He had tattoos on his arms (These were the only ones I was aware of at this time) and he was skinny but he wasn't a bean pole. We had been exchanging conversation via messenger and text for a little over a week or so. Finally, we decided that we should meet in person. He offered to drive here and hang out with me over a weekend because my mom refused to let me see him unless she got to meet him. The night before he drove to town I showed my mom a picture of Adolf. Her comment to me was, "He looks like a skinhead." What? Just because he has a bald head means he is a skinhead? She kept insisting that is just what she got from his picture but she wasn't sure why. Skinhead. Psh.
The weekend we had was fun. We just did a lot of low key things like walking my dog, went shopping, went to eat and stuff like that. As he was leaving back to Nampa we decided that I would go and stay with him the following weekend. After talking to my mom about it and finally getting her to let me go, I ventured off to Nampa to spend time with him that next weekend. He lived in an apartment complex with a female roommate. She was around a little bit when we were there, but mostly it was just the two of us. Keep in mind that I am still getting to know about Adolf and him about me, obviously. Well, we got to the point of getting a little friendly and he had slipped out of his jeans when something had caught my eye. I saw a small portion of a tattoo on his thigh, but I didn't really pay much attention to it. I figured that I would just check it out later. He had taken off his shirt and turned to throw it on the floor when I saw a lettered tattoo on his lower back. The size was pretty big and it went all the way across the back. The letters were at least two inches tall. They read: WHITE POWER.
.....
.....
Uh. Hmm. Yeah. At that moment I put everything to a halt and asked him about the tattoo. He said, "Oh, that is from a few years ago. I'm not into that stuff really anymore. I just haven't been able to get it covered up yet." He then proceeds to show me the swastika that is on his thigh that was peeking out of his boxers.
.....
I'm still kind of speechless, but I manage to ask, "Isn't that something that you should have mentioned to me? You know, about what you used to be into?" He said, "I would have at some point when it needed to be talked about. Since you have seen them now we can say we talked about them." This eventually led to a discussion on the importance of why I should have been informed before this point and what "not into that stuff really anymore" means. He said that he only has a problem with someone of another race if they have a problem with him. Other than that he really isn't wanting to be like how he used to be. He did tell me a few stories about when he was into "this stuff", but I won't mention those here. This little bit of breaking news kind of put a damper on the rest of the weekend. He wasn't really all that thrilled when I was starting to be unsure of him. I ended up going home a day early and while on the way home I had sent him a text and told him that I couldn't handle the whole situation. Yeah, I am an asshole and did it via text. Even if he wasn't into all this anymore he branded me with that world the second he took off his shirt and we were at a swimming pool or something. That isn't me. He understood and said that he was sorry he didn't tell me and that was how I found out. He hoped we could still be friends.
I thought that things were all said and done with him, but he tried getting a hold of me again. He wanted to try to work things out and get back together. I had already pretty much decided that I didn't want to date him at all after he accepted my dump text. Being the nice person that I am, it was hard for me to explain that I was no longer interested. I tried and he insisted that I still had feelings for him. I told him that wasn't the case and I wasn't interested in dating anymore. I also said that my mom didn't really approve of me dating him. This opened a whole new can of worms. He then went off on me saying that I was using my mom as a scapegoat and that I should be old enough to think for myself just like I should be old enough to move out. Yeah, I know I am old enough and I do make my own decisions, but I do value what my mom thinks about who I am dating. I also have my own reasons for not moving out. This whole argument went on for like a week and then I finally told him that he needed to just drop it. He finally said that he would and added, "I guess that's what I get for dating a 20 year old." Don't get me started on you, Adolf.
In total I think this went over a period of about three weeks or so. I don't think that i have ever been that shocked in my life. I literally didn't know what to do in this situation. I can just see the article to Ann Landers or Dear Abby now: "I found out that my boyfriend is an ex skinhead and he never mentioned this to me before. I only knew because of tattoos that I saw before we had sex. How should I handle this?"
.....
Seriously.
So did you save any snacks for round two? What's funny is that the Captain looks kind of like one of the douchebags in the photo above. Anyway, I will also throw out another disclaimer. There will be mention of sex in this post. It's not going to be a story out of Penthouse or anything, but there will be reference to it. If you are still ready to move forward..Here we go
Captain Douchebag followed me throughout the last few years. He was like a zit. He popped up here and there and got under my skin until he just disappeared. He never stuck around long. Usually what would happen is that I would get a text out of the blue from him. He would do the usual "Hi how ya doing" thing, but then it always led to him asking for something. The something was either a picture or to "hang out". The pictures he would ask for were like the ones I mentioned in the previous post. Sometimes his text would be a single word "boobs", and when he asked to hang out it was usually just because he wanted a dirty romp. He was pretty classy.
Of course I was still trying to get over him. So, I would give in hoping that maybe it would rekindle something. He had pretty good timing when he would get a hold of me too. I would be just at that point that I would stop thinking about him and then I would hear from him. Bastard. This is why it took years to get over the Captain. He always had a way of keeping that last little spark burning. He never said it was because he still had feelings though. He always said it was because he liked the times we had, sexual times that is, and other girls wouldn't send him dirty pictures. Don't judge me.
Whenever he could tell I was getting attached again is when he would pull away. This is when he blocked me on Facebook. I was a creeper and saw that he was talking to this girl like he would if he was dating her. So naturally, I brought it up and called myself out. Now I am on the permanent block list. It makes me laugh. The most recent encounter I had with the Captain was around November of this last year. He started talking to me again and I happened to be sort of dating someone at the time. I think it killed him that I actually told him no for once. He even said, "I will be discreet. No one would know." I told you he was classy. By some miracle I happened to be unblocked from his Facebook for a short amount of time. He will later contest this, but I saw what I saw. He had started talking to a girl in Meridian. By the time Thanksgiving rolled around it had progressed to him and her being "in a relationship". This however didn't stop him from asking me to send him pictures while he was in North Dakota for work. I even said, "I don't think your girlfriend would appreciate that." His response? "I don't have a girlfriend. We are just hanging out and seeing where it goes.". Hmm. Really?
I didn't hear from him again until about Christmas/New Years. He was still pulling the same stuff and asking for pictures of me, and he even went as far as to tell me when he would be back home to see if he could have a little dirty time with me. I once again became the creepy stalker. I was still unblocked on his Facebook, and saw that not only was he still in a relationship with this girl but he got her a sapphire ring for Christmas. I'm talking a ring from a jewelry store not a cheap piece or anything. By this point I am just confused. He still won't admit to me that he has a girlfriend. He just tells me that it is complicated because he spends so much time out of town and she doesn't even live in town herself. The remaining respect that I had for him is now dwindling at a very rapid rate. I spent New Years Eve with the person that I happen to be dating now, and while I was hanging out with him I get a phone call. You guessed it, Captain Douchebag. It's odd because he usually only texts me he doesn't ever call. I let it go to voice mail and I just checked it when I was leaving with my date. Both him and I had a good laugh about it. I will give you a summary of it, but just to kind of set it up he was talking once again about how he wanted to see my boobs. I told him that he should have his girlfriend help him out with that and then my phone rang. This is the voice mail,
"There's no other boobies that I want right now. I want your boobies. If I was in town right now I would be at your house and no where else. So show me your boobies. I want to see your boobies. Not any other boobies. I'm gonna go and hopefully I will see some boobies. Your boobies."
He just gets classier, doesn't he? He was drunk when he called, but I find it funny that he still can't admit that there is something there that always pulls him back to me. I saved the voice mail just in case I ever decided that I wanted to tell his girlfriend about what kind of guy she was dating, or if she ever messaged me if she found out he was talking to me or something. I probably should have told her at this point, but something inside of me just kind of snapped. I really didn't care. He became so disgusting to me that I just didn't care if he treated his new girlfriend like this. The next time I heard from him it was on his way home from North Dakota and I responded to a text he sent. He said that he had sent that a month prior to when I got it and that it was delayed because he had shitty service where he was at. Uh. Right. I don't think a text would send after a month but whatever. I asked him about his girlfriend and he still didn't really admit to having one, but when I told him I saw it on Facebook he basically called me a liar. He said that I was on his block list and I couldn't have seen anything so I shouldn't lie to him because it was kind of pissing him off. I saw what I saw and I know how I saw it so don't call me a liar unless I really am lying.
I thought after that I wouldn't hear from him again, but of course I was wrong. He had to send me a picture of his new truck that he got and asked, "Want to help me break it in?". I responded, "You should have your girlfriend help you with that." He responded with, "Touche". FINALLY. He admitted that he had a girlfriend. This is after they had been dating at least 4 months. We got into a conversation and he also kind of admitted that in a way he still had feelings for me. I told him that I was tired of the games that I have had with guys I have dated and it wasn't what I was looking for. "What are you looking for? And hopefully I wasn't one of those bad times you experienced." I told him that I wanted someone that I could see being married to and starting a family with. Oh, and yeah, he was one of those times. Multiple times actually. He said, "I really wish you would have wanted that a few years ago, but oh well. You really broke something inside me that took a long time to fix." If I would have stayed with him and gotten married we both would have been miserable and probably divorced by now. There were things I needed to do and experience that he already had and they were things I couldn't really do while being with him. As I have always told him if it would have happened with us a few years later than it did then maybe it would have worked out, but that just didn't happen.
I think he is finally pretty serious with this girl now. I can't see his page but I can see hers. Yeah, I stalked her too. Don't judge me. If he is happy with her that is great, but hopefully he won't be a dirtbag anymore. I never thought that he would have done this and acted this way, but then again I knew him a long time ago. Captain Douchebag today is completely different than the Captain Douchebag that I once knew. All I can say is that he did help me realize things that I want and what I don't want. So in way, I can't be completely upset with him. I can, however, still think he is a Douchebag.
The butterflies. Those damn butterflies. Nothing seems to be quite as exciting as your first love. Your heart always seems to have a hole from that piece that you gave them. It's something you will never get back. Even if you find that true love later on, you always remember your first love and it still has some kind of meaning to you. I found mine at 16. Now, before I start the story I will warn you this may be a little lengthy. You might want to go get some snacks and a drink. Oh and maybe take a potty break.
Ok, you ready??
My longest relationship was with Captain Douchebag. I love this name. I even had this in my phone when I used to have his number. It gave me a laugh when he would text me. I really couldn't tell you how we met, and I'm really not kidding. He couldn't either. We tried to think of it and for some reason there is this void in our minds about how we came across one another. I'm sure that my family has heard different stories from him and I on it and I really don't think they meshed with the others' story. We also both have different opinions when it comes to how long we were actually together. He says two and a half years and I say a little over three. I think I am right, but what do I know? I still don't know if I was just really persuasive or just annoyed my mom to her breaking point because I am not sure how she let me go on a date with him. He was 22 and I was 16. I guess it was similar to Aqua man, but I dunno. In the beginning, the relationship really wasn't supposed to progress all that far. He was going to be going to boot camp for the Air Force in two months so he wasn't wanting to get attached. It seems like we were meant to spend the time we did together because his leave date kept getting pushed back time and time again. By the time that he actually left to boot camp we had been together for a year and a half.
The Captain was a looker, I will admit. There were some people that actually asked me if he was gay because he was that metro. One of my gay friends I worked with actually checked him out. We were folding some shirts and he came up to me and made a comment about the guy walking in the store. I just laughed and said, "That's Captain Douchebag." I don't think I had ever seen him blush so much. He had come to my house a little while later and the Captain was there and told me, "Don't you ever tell him I thought he was hot. It might make him feel weird". It wasn't the first time it happened. My aunt asked me once if he waxed his eyebrows. Yeah, I dunno. I don't think so? He also had these stories he would tell. At the time I thought his big fish stories were endearing, but now they just drive me nuts. There were so many times that family and friends would ask me if he was really telling the truth or not. *Shrugs* Your guess is as good as mine. There were very few stories that I could actually confirm the authenticity of, but most of them I still don't know. On top of telling ridiculous big fish stories, he was a know it all. Even if I knew for a fact that I was right it didn't matter. I was wrong. There were so many times that I wanted to punch him in the face. He also had terrible taste in tattoos. Tribal. That's all I will say about that one.
I'm going to save you a lot of boring details and fast forward a bit to when he leaves for boot camp. Like I said, by this time we were together for a year and a half. Before he left he decided that he wanted to propose. You read that right. PROPOSE. I was so excited when it happened and so happy. I felt like I was living my own fairy tale and getting my happy ending. I remember a conversation with my sister and I had told her about the engagement. The way I heard the conversation was, "You're too young. Blah blah blah. Go to college. Blah blah blah. What are you thinking? Blah blah blah." Sorry, sis. I get what you meant now, but I was kind of being dumb back then. Captain finally ships out and I am starting my senior year, and I am engaged. Not only was this my first serious boyfriend, but I was engaged. Did I mention I was engaged?! Yeah, I started freaking out. I played it cool though and tried to deal with it. He came home sooner than expected because he got hurt in boot camp and couldn't finish. Shortly after he came home is when things started falling apart. Things felt different between us, I felt different and I knew he felt different but he wouldn't come out and say it.
In a last ditch effort to save what we had, I told him to still plan on coming to Lava Hot Springs with us for our annual camping trip. Worst. Idea. Ever. That was the worst camping trip I have ever been on in my life. Almost the entire trip he barely talked to me, barely touched me, and just acted like an ass. When he finally did reach out to touch me it was because he wanted to stop being an ass and get some ass instead. Then he got mad at me when I called him out on it. He turned away from me and started acting like a two year old and gave me the silent treatment. I dealt with a lot of insecurities when I was dating him and he knew this. We had gotten matching shirts (Not on purpose. I bought it for him for his birthday and I liked it and wanted one for sleeping in) and they were both the same size. I had gotten in the tent and changed into my shirt and next thing I know he freaks out. "You are wearing my shirt! You are going to stretch it out!" For those of you that knew me at this time I was on the heavy side, which was why I was insecure. I simply thought that he was referring to by boobs but he said, "No, your arms are going to stretch out the sleeves." Fuck you, dude. I may have been chubby but my arms weren't bigger than yours.
That wasn't even the worst of it. He ran into some people later on that he knew from work and when I came up to him to let him know that dinner was ready he looked at me like my face was melting or something. Not only that, I was introduced as a "friend". We hadn't broken up yet! We got rained out and had to come home early from the trip and we saved the majority of the alcohol for the last night. So add in all the asshole things he had done on the trip, his shitty attitude, and the "friend" comment then mix that with Tequila and Jager. I don't remember a lot of the night, but I remember finding out that he hacked my email and messenger accounts and periodically checked my phone. I got taken to my aunt's house even though he tried to get me to stay. I wandered into my her house all snotty from bawling, drunk off my ass only to be greeted by my other aunt that was staying over as well. The reason this is so significant? She is one of my VERY Mormon aunts. Her comment? "Is she drunk?" Yes, yes I was. I lost a shoe and it took me a day to remember where I left my glasses. I couldn't even eat a piece of toast the next day. It wasn't pretty. Luckily, he blacked out almost as bad as I did so we couldn't really talk about what happened because neither of us remembered. That fateful day is when things ended with us. I decided that we needed to separate and that I needed to go out and live a little. I couldn't deal with being engaged and I just felt like I needed to do other things at the time. If maybe we had met a couple years later things would have worked out differently, but that's not how things happened.
Part of me wishes that I could say things ended with us here, but I can't. About a year after we broke up we started talking again. He started talking to me on Facebook and we were friends for a while before I got put on his permanent block list. I may have been on the block list, but that was just so I couldn't stalk him and call him out on shit that he failed to mention to me. (Like having a girlfriend but trying to get me to let him come over and "hang out".) I also want to say that he is the one that always starts talking to me again. He could never tell me why, but something always brought him back.
I don't want to bore you so I am actually going to split this up into two posts. Mostly because the most ridiculous stuff that happened with him was after we broke up. Save some snacks and soda for next time, kiddos.
Shortly after Puff, I met another guy. I will give you three guesses as to how we met... Internet. Of course. Anyway, I have always had a thing for older men apparently because Aqua man was 22 when we met. Although, this time I did say I was 16 and for whatever reason he still wanted to date me. Now that I look back on it I should have probably taken that as a sign I shouldn't be interested in a 22 year old that would date a 16 year old, but I digress.
I'm sure you are wondering about the name by now. You see, this guy had a thing with fish. He had this huge aquarium that was at least 6 feet long and it was filled with all sorts of fishes. He even ordered some online so he could have exotic types in his tank. He eventually out grew that tank and had to add another one to his house that was at least three feet long, and he also built a moat in his back yard so that he could put fishes in there. Seriously, I couldn't make this shit up. A moat? Who builds a moat?
This guy was also not along the lines of my "type", just like Puff. He was a freaking bean pole and blond. No offense to blonds out there but I am not really attracted to many blond guys. I am also going to sound like a gold digger when I say this, but the guy had money. Or at least that is how he portrayed himself. He had to have the best of the best. He had two houses. One he rented (to another ex of mine oddly enough) and the one he lived in. He also had three cars. Three. They were all bright freaking yellow. A yellow truck, a yellow mustang and some other yellow car that he later traded in for a yellow bullet bike. He really had a thing for things. He pretty much thought that unless you had three cars, a shit load of exotic fish, and whatever else you didn't have anything really. I also have no idea if he actually had money or if he was just ass deep in debt. I know he bought stuff and sold it on eBay a lot and that is where he got some of his money, but I can't confirm that he actually was in the black and not in the red.
At first, things were great with Aqua man. He was really nice, wanted to spend time with me, and just seemed like a good guy. We had been dating a couple of months and I was eventually taken out to his mom's house in Roberts to meet her and his million brothers and sisters. I couldn't even tell you how many he actually had. They started to run together because they looked so similar that it was creepy. They seemed nice enough, but apparently his mom couldn't get over the fact that he was no longer with his previous girlfriend and that I didn't go to church. Go figure. Everything that she talked about had some kind of reference to her and I was compared to her about how I dressed, how old I was, how I did my hair,and that she went to church every Sunday. Awkward. Needless to say I wanted to get out of there ASAP. At least Aqua man was nice and stood up for me a little and let his mom know he wasn't really wanting to be with his ex anymore.
After what seemed like forever we eventually made our way back to his place to watch a movie. There we were just cuddling on the couch when out of no where he drops a bomb. I'm going to remind you that we only had been dating like 2 months at this point. He threw out the L word. Uh. Hmm. Thanks? That was my response. In return he said, "Well I think it's time I take you home. If you don't know that you love me by now then I don't think you will ever love me." So me being the 16 year old that I was, I cried on the way to my house and the next two days I was depressed and tried to talk him into getting back together. No luck. He still stuck with what he said and that I should know that I love him or not and that I was wasting his time if I didn't. He said we could stay friends but we weren't getting back together. I was still talking to him towards the end of that school year and start of the summer. My mom, for whatever reason, sees him out somewhere and invites him over to our house for the 4th of July. This was kind of awkward since I had started talking to the person that I will mention later on. So instead of spending the 4th with a guy I was interested in, I had to spend it with my ex because I am too nice to un invite him. He was at the house and I had left my phone laying around so he decided to snoop and saw that I was talking to someone else. He then proceeded to tell me I was a player and a fake and that he knew he shouldn't have come. I didn't want you there dude, but whatever. He left after that and I pretty much ceased conversation with him at that point.
Now let's shoot ahead about 1 1/2 years....
Don't worry about all the details in that time frame. That will be covered in the next chapter. After the debris cleared from the explosion I moved on and found someone else. I was very happy at this point in time and didn't want anything else. Out of the blue, Aqua man contacts me. He wants to be "friends" and hang out with me. I discussed this with Captain Douchebag (awesome name, I know) and he was fine with it. Well, that should have just been avoided all together. By the time I was done hanging out with him I kind of felt like a hooker. He offered me things to get back together with him. He would take me on a trip, he would help me get a new car, he would buy me jewelry. I know this is a material world, but I am not a material girl. I told him that I was happy with who I was with and there wasn't anything he could offer me to leave.
This whole situation ends up biting me in the ass later on. Captain Douchebag ends up living in his rental house (after we split mind you) and Aqua man finds out who he is. He then tells the Captain this whole story that I was all over him while he was away at boot camp and that I kissed him and blah blah blah. Nope. Didn't happen. He refused to believe me even though he hates Aqua man and knows first hand what a moron he is. He still thinks to this day that all that happened.
Ok so this one wasn't very entertaining, but I promise I will make up for it. I was just filing in my timeline. I'll get to better stuff, just you wait.
When I say the early years I referring to my high school days. They seem so long ago now. This first fellow I am not going to lie, I don't remember how we met. I want to say it was online...yeah, that's probably it. Anyway, I may have told him my ago wrong and he thought that I was 18 when I was in fact 16. Yeah, sleazy move to pull but I was young. Give me a break. As I said, I was 16 and I had just met Puff the Magic Dragon. Awesome name, right? Well there is a reason. Read on.
Puff was into drugs. Not heavy ones at least. It was only weed and mushrooms now and again. At the time, I hadn't really been exposed to weed really so I wasn't really sure how I felt about it. I came to the conclusion that I was ok with it since he didn't smoke it around me so I didn't have to smell it all the time. Gag. Being 16 I didn't really have a "type" that I would look for to date, but now that I know the things I like he was definitely not it. For one, he was so freaking skinny. He was nothing but bones and that drives me crazy. Secondly, he smoked weed. I really don't like the stuff. I don't really care that people do it. I think that it should be legalized because there can be benefits to it, but I just can't stand the god awful smell. Third, he was 24 and I was 16. There was no sex involved so you can all breathe easy.
This relationship didn't last very long. I remember going to a New Year's party with my high school friend (We lied about her age too..) and it was a house party with a bunch of grungy potheads. The Denots, a local band, were playing in the basement and it was very cramped. I had struck up a conversation with Puff's buddy and come to find out he doesn't really know how to keep a secret. He let it slip that Puff was a drug dealer. Not only that, but there were times that I found he had taken me on runs with him when he was doing deals. I had no clue. The more I think about it though the funnier it is. Not about the fact that I could have gotten in trouble for his stupid ass, but because he possible could have gotten in trouble because of me being only 16.
After the party, I was feeling uneasy about the whole relationship and there was clarification on where I stood with him one day at his house. Puff was playing Grand Theft Auto or some game like that and I was getting to hang out on the couch and watch him. I sat there for a good three hours and finally told him I was bored and I was going to go home. He responded and said, "Ok" and I left. I had to walk in front of the TV to get to the door to leave. Four hours later I get a call from him asking me when I left and why. Uh.. really? He apologized profusely and I said I forgave him, but I am female after all and I still kept that grudge deep down inside. A few short days later I decided to call things off. I tried calling him, but I never got a hold of him. I tried for the next couple of days and still no answer or call back. I even went to his house and no answer when I knocked or anything. Well, that was dandy. It made the whole break up thing easier, but still I wasn't supposed to be the dumpee. I was supposed to be the dumper.
Three months later....
I get a phone call from a number that I didn't know. Come to find out it was Puff. I had deleted his number months before and had pretty much forgotten about him. He was calling to let me know he just got out of jail and that's why he hadn't talked to me in months. Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have a winner.
Dating sucks. We might as well just throw that out there now. Dating in Idaho is horrible. I should know because I have been attempting to do so for quite a while now. I am currently 25, never been married and I don't have any kids. This all sounds normal, right? Sure, if you were anywhere BUT here. Around here it is more normal to be married by 18 (19 at the latest) and already have two kids pushed out by 20. This region is very heavily Mormon and while I was baptized at the tender age of 8, I don't practice.
The majority of my family is Mormon, but there are a few of us stragglers that just don't quite fit into the mold. These are the family members I am closest to and relate to very well. I am very much a "black sheep" of the family with my multiple tattoos and various piercings that I have had through the years. When it comes to dating for someone like me it is really hard to do in this area. The best places to meet people? Church, church activities, the bar. So since I don't go to church that really only leaves me with the bar. I've tried to find someone at the bar and I didn't do too well. Obviously. I have resorted to one other way of meeting people and that is the internet. My mom absolutely HATES this, but when I ask her for places to meet people she can't really give me any suggestions that I haven't already mentioned. Needless to say, the internet hasn't been to nice to me either in the dating department. You will read about those winners later on.
Now I know that everyone dates and everyone has stories about people that they have dated over the years. I'm just not sure how many of those people have actually been told multiple times that they needed to write a book about those experiences. I am one of those few people. I don't know how and I don't know why, but if something bizarre or crazy could happen then it will be happening to me at some point in time. I want to throw a disclaimer out there before I get into all the good stuff. I have a shitty memory at times and while I try to be as accurate as I can about when things happened so I may not be spot on. Just so ya know. Although, that isn't saying that what I am writing about didn't happen or isn't true. It is. It so is. I have also changed the names of those lucky individuals I graced with my presence. That way if they happen to stumble upon this then they may not know that I am talking about them... Maybe. There also may be some things I am not necessarily proud of doing or proud to admit. Don't judge me. So now on with the show...
